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Marta Oti Sears

Marta Oti Sears

Category Archives: body image

Bellies, Bikinis & True Love

05 Wednesday Mar 2014

Posted by Marta Oti Sears in body image, marriage

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body image, marriage, post-baby body, post-pregnancy body

My short article “Bellies, Bikinis & True Love” was published on the Mothers of Preschoolers International (MOPS) blog on Valentine’s Day, but their server was overloaded for a couple of weeks and access was limited. It’s up and running now. For those who dislike Valentine’s Day, perhaps this will sit better with you on an ordinary day like today. Although today is Ash Wednesday, so it’s not really an ordinary day. 

bellies-bikinis-and-true-loveA bikini is no longer an option for me. After two pregnancies, my stretched out bellybutton turns down on both ends like it’s frowning. These days I want to be fully clothed when doing push ups or holding the plank position. Otherwise, my loose tummy skin hangs down like a wrinkly elongated bagel made of Jell-O.

It’s not totally hideous. I still walk around in my bra and underwear in front of my kids. But I’ve been tempted on more than one occasion to ask Siri, “How much is the cheapest tummy tuck in Portland, Oregon?”

When my husband, Andy, and I were lying in bed a few months ago, I said, “I’m just going to cover up my wrinkly tummy,” then pulled the sheet up over my stomach. Andy moved the sheet aside, kissed my stomach and said, “I love your wrinkly tummy and what it represents.”

No one else can say that to me, and mean it, but Andy.

3-stages-of-womans-belly-300x100I remember him touching and kissing my growing belly during my pregnancies, expressing his love for both our yet-to-be-born children and me. He’s continued to touch and kiss my tummy since then, sending me a beautiful, counter-cultural message: You are as beautiful at 40 as you were at 22.

When Andy and I were talking recently, we realized that we both think the other is more physically attractive now than when we were dating. We agreed that we were both more critical of each other back then. We didn’t criticize each other out loud, but we remember noticing things about each other’s appearance that we thought could use some improvement. I think that must have been part of immature love.

Today we see each other more clearly. We know each other more deeply. We’ve gone through hard times. We’ve asked each other for forgiveness. We’ve grown through failure and disappointment. Seventeen years of life shared together has adjusted our vision. We see clearly, now more than ever, that what we have is beautiful.

(Black and white 3-stages-of-a-woman’s-belly photos by photographers Sarah Sampedro and Savannah.)

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Exhibitionist Mom

27 Sunday Jan 2013

Posted by Marta Oti Sears in body image, sexuality

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body image, sexuality

Woman-Bathing-in-a-Shallow-Tub-1886-large-1201235283There’s a running joke on my mom’s side of the family that everyone has seen my mom naked. Or nearly naked.

When I was a kid my family spent part of a summer in a Colorado cabin with my aunt (my mom’s sister), uncle, and four boy cousins.

One afternoon, while my aunt was feeding all of us kids lunch in the kitchen, my mom walked out of the bathroom and faced us. She had just showered and was holding a towel in front of her, covering just the front of her body. She engaged in a little small talk with us and then asked, “Where’s Uncle Gail?” (Her sister’s husband.)

With a smirk on her face, my aunt pointed to the living room behind my mom as laughter erupted around the kitchen table. Sitting on the couch, my uncle calmly held up his open newspaper, pretending that he hadn’t just seen my mom in all her glory.

Woman_in_a_Tub

When Andy I were newlyweds we vacationed with my parents in Victoria, British Columbia and stayed in adjoining hotel rooms. One morning Andy knocked on the door to my parents’ room and mom said, “Come in,” thinking it was me. When Andy entered she was standing with her back to him in her underwear only.

Having heard the family stories, Andy thought, this is awkward, but I guess I’ll just try to act normal, ask my question, and get out of here. Later they both expressed their shock to me: Andy, at mom saying “come in” when she was practically naked; and mom, at Andy’s lack of decency in standing there and engaging her in conversation.

tahitian women bathingGrowing up, I saw mom walking around the house in her bra and underwear. Sometimes I’d see her naked as she got out of the shower or into her swimsuit.

I remember tracing the stretch marks on her tummy with my fingers when I was little. I liked their softness and the thought that I had lived in there for nine months.

Seeing my mom’s body in the context of everyday life was a gift. It gave me a sense of comfort and ease about my own body and bodies in general. Bodies weren’t something to be ashamed or embarrassed of, even if they didn’t look like the ones in the magazines.

Mom had a birthday this week and I’d like to offer up a virtual toast to her.

Mom, here’s to you. To your exhibitionist tendencies. To your healthy embrace of the the human body. To being comfortable in your own skin and helping me be comfortable in mine. You’re beautiful and I love you!

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Bellies, Bikinis and True Love

15 Tuesday Jan 2013

Posted by Marta Oti Sears in body image, marriage

≈ 1 Comment

Tags

body image, marriage

A bikini is no longer an option for me. After two pregnancies, my stretched out bellybutton turns down on both ends like it’s frowning. Yep, these days I want to be fully clothed when I do push ups or put my body into the “plank” yoga position. Otherwise my loose tummy skin hangs down like a wrinkly elongated bagel made of jello.

It’s not totally hideous. I still walk around in my bra and underwear in front of my kids. But I’ve been tempted on more than one occasion to ask Siri (my personal iPhone assistant), “How much is the cheapest tummy tuck in Portland, Oregon?”

3-stages-of-womans-belly-300x100When Andy and I were lying in bed a few months ago, I pulled the sheet up over my stomach and said, “I’m just going to cover up my wrinkly tummy.” Andy moved the sheet aside, kissed my stomach and said, “I love your wrinkly tummy and what it represents.”

No one else can say that to me, and mean it, but Andy.

I remember him touching and kissing my growing belly during my pregnancies, expressing his love for me and our yet-to-be-born children. And he’s continued to touch and kiss my tummy since then, sending me a beautiful, counter-cultural message: You are as beautiful now at 39 as you were at 22.

We were talking yesterday and realized that we both think the other is actually more physically attractive now than when we were dating or newlyweds. We agreed that we were both more critical of each other back then. Not that we criticized each other out loud, but that we noticed things about each other’s appearance that we thought could use improvement.

I think that must have been part of immature love. Now we see each other clearly. We know each other deeply. We’ve gone through hard times. We’ve asked for forgiveness. We’ve grown through failure and disappointment.

Seventeen years of life shared together has adjusted our vision. We see clearly, now more than ever, that what we have is beautiful.

(Photos are by photographers Sarah Sampedro and Savannah.)

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